It came and went. My anniversary on this website has passed.

Moving right along...

I started feeling better today. I don't know why.

But I did.

The whole tech support thing is going well.

It is beyond imagination how many really mean and stupid people exist in this world.

And plain and simply crazy.

One lady was certain our company was purposely "breaking my internet" so that she would upgrade.


I have a certain knack in being diplomatic and quickly building report.
And I never thought too much about it. But now I am grateful.

I don't just deal with unhappy, stupid, crazy, mean people.
I often have to give them bad news.
And the reason they are calling is more or less a matter of their good time and instant gratification has been ruined.


I have learned when to ask. And when to tell. And when to shut up.

NOTHING shuts up an irate person like ME shutting up.

"rant,, rant, rant!"

silence on my part

"ranty rant?"

silence

"Are you there?"

"I'm here! I am going to let you talk for as long as you need to. Then it has to be my turn because I am going to have to ask questions as well as speak in general to troubleshoot your problem. "

"Well, what did you want to ask?! Just send someone to fix it!"

(And never lie! )

"I am so sorry Sir but the possibility of a technician being dispatched to fix the issue you are having with your dvr recorded material not showing up is zero."
But I can most likely fix the issue from here or talk you through some simple manual troubleshooting steps. "

And wow do I ever say "righty tighty, lefty loosey" a LOT.

I will never forget some people.

- The man who was threatening me with...something...not sure..if a technician was not at his place in 34 minutes.
-The woman who when asked to merely look behind her TV, proclaimed she couldn't do that, "I'm not a mechanic!"
- The fellow who screamed at me for 8 minutes in I think maybe Turkish.
- The man who cried because the Playboy channel wasn't working.
-The Grandmother who was stuck on the Playboy channel guide, didn't realize it, started reading titles out loud. You haven't lived until you hear a grandmotherly voice reading "Bang U, ..."
- The woman who could not go to a website, even after 40 minutes of me trying to explain to her how to use the address bar on her browser." (And refused to allow me to assist her remotely. ) I finally just had to tell her we were done. ( we are suppose to have an average call time of 13 whole minutes)
- A woman who thought Google WAS the internet.
- ALL of the people who have a little bit of info.
And
-The man who was certain I would be the savior of the company.

My favs:
The 11 year old young man who was interpreting for his Mother, as well as handling the manual troubleshooting.
He had more brains and courtesy than most of my customers put together.

The 80 plus year old people who WILL power cycle their set top box or router.
The lady who (against my advice), climbed her car, then jumped to a table where she had put a ladder  and then climbed up to where her battery back up unit was plugged in. And unplugged it. And she thanked ME several times for helping her.

It is amazing what the words "Thank you for helping me." sound like.
Although in her case, wow, she pretty much went above and beyond.

I also liked the Doctor who said I was magic because I got his dial tone back for him.

So yeah, there's lot's of good too.

Basically I have to often be the parent who will go to bat for them when it is the right thing to do. But who also has a firm set of rules and conduct. I WILL convince you to run all over your house swapping boxes, rebooting what needs rebooting, and power cycling your router. ( even if you aren't a mechanic!)


But my call time average is around 18-21 minutes.
But my percentage of people who call back because of the problem not being fixed is always very low.

So I leave you with the parting words of the batshit insane lady who suddenly changed her entire demeanor from cheerful and friendly to demonic,  and called me a "way too slow asshole" and demanded to speak to my supervisor:
"Have a blessed day Sweetheart!"

I am still trying to understand that one.